Dear dad

Forums Loss Dear dad

This topic contains 0 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Flowerchild098 3 months ago.

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    Flowerchild098

    Dad,

    Sometimes I wish you were still here. I wish you could help Kendra and I in the ways we’ve always needed you. The ways you were always there for us when our “mother” was not. No matter what you were going through Kendra and I were always your number one priority. And for that I will never forget how that love feels. You showed us what it was like to love family. I will never allow myself to forgive myself for the day you decided to be reckless. The day you decided nothing in this world was worth you being alive. I should’ve been there for you. I tried. But I probably didn’t try hard enough. Being a child having to console their own parent was a hard thing to go through. Either way anything I would have done would not have been enough to save you from yourself. Even though I still blame myself for allowing you to feel so alone to the point where you just became so reckless. Reckless enough to end your own life, whether it was on purpose or not. The only way I was able to move on was by telling myself you’re much better off. You’re happy now right? But we’re left stuck here. Wondering. Wondering what it would be like to have a father walk us down the aisle. Wondering what it’s like to even have a father throughout our adult years. When we need advice or help. Even to just drink a beer with. I’ll always wonder what it could have been like to have you still here. Is it selsfish of us for still wanting you here with us? We never really had a stable parent. I just wish I could get to know you as an adult. Where we could be open with each other and talk about things. Maybe I was too young to understand. Too young to consult with. But either way I miss you. And I wish you were here.

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