How are you walking now?

Forums Missing Someone How are you walking now?

This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Codename: ChickenFerret 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #597 Reply


    Hi Lucas! It’s been nearly a month since you passed. I miss you so much more than I could ever comprehend. It’s practically inhuman how much I miss you. I miss your gibberish, your banging of your toys, your beautiful smiles, your little noises I hear in the morning from the baby monitor, picking out your clothes for the day and dressing you, getting you ready for bed at night. We recently started reading stories together and I really miss that too. I miss our routine. Getting up and making you eggs and fruit. I can’t look at our smallest frying pan without thinking about you. I miss watching Paw Patrol with you… I can still hear the theme song in my head. I remember you banging your feet in your highchair as you ate watching that show. I miss the way you made me feel SO PROUD of you.

    You started to walk 3 days before you passed, I imagine your walking quite a but now! You could only do about 10 steps last time I saw you walk. I bet your walking everywhere now. I’m so proud of you for letting go of the tables and chairs and walking on your own.

    I’m really hurting right now and I want to see you again. You were just perfect. I keep asking why and I get angry. I had my first Councillor meeting today, I cried through the whole thing. I showed him the picture of you where you were in your stroller holding your Superman bear and grinning so widely all your little teethies were showing. I love that picture.

    I’m having a really hard time and so is Daddy. Grandma and Grandpa too. I keep thinking and saying we miss you, but it’s my biggest problem. I miss you so much it physically hurts. My heart hurts. I go in your room all the time and smell your clothes. You have a pair of dirty PJs in your hamper that are starting to loose your scent and it makes me sad. I look for all the stains of milk and food on your clothes and stare at them. It takes me hours to fall asleep and I can only if I pull the blankets over my head and look at photos and videos of you.

    I miss you.

  • #608 Reply

    This is absolutely heartbreaking and I’m so very sorry for your loss. Please share more adventurous stories of him, if you can. He looks like a dapper little dude.

  • #609 Reply


    Thank you. He was the best baby ever. He was my first but I know he was the best baby I will ever have. He was so good-natured and constantly smiling; he had 6 teeth and didn’t fuss while he was getting them at all. He was hilarious and made us laugh constantly. He was so smart; he knew how to work TV remotes and phones… he took my mother in laws phone, unlocked it and took 91 photos with it at one point. He was so talkative and the first word he said was his dog’s name, Layla. One story that comes to mind is was when he was 10 months old, we flew to Arizonia to see his Grandparents. The trip there, he mostly slept. The trip back, I will never forget. We sat at the back of the plane and he was smiling and talking at everyone; he had such a contagious smile, so they would be delighted and smile back and say hello. He loved watching the people go by. He was mostly standing on our knees entertaining a couple of young girls in front of us and an older couple behind us. He loved to initiate peek-a-boo. By the time we had to leave the plane, everyone around us knew Lucas’ name and had to say goodbye to him and touch his hand or wave at him. He made so many friends on that flight when you hear a lot about babies who just scream. I was SO proud to be his Mommy, my heart swelled. He didn’t make a fuss the whole flight, not even until we finally got home.

  • #610 Reply

    I bet he left a lasting impression on all those passengers as well as a solid flight memory. How’re you doing?

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