the day I realized

Forums Missing Someone the day I realized

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    Guest

    I always thought time was nothing but a passage. But ever since I met you it’s been far from unmemorable, I’ve felt like no matter how little or long we spend together time never feels like it’s enough. It’s been a lot harder lately, I guess finally coming to my senses is scaring me, because I know exactly what I want in life and it’s not him.

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    It’s nights like this that I miss you. Surprisingly I lied when I said I wouldn’t think about you, because honestly, lately that’s all that I’ve been doing. You tend to cross my path a bit too often and my brain can’t seem to process why. I find myself constantly tryin to find an explanation as to why this would even be happening, but I guess you can’t really dictate who you love. I’ve always had this thing of getting overly attached to people that are not good for me, and I wonder if that’s what you are to me. A drug that I can’t have but often crave to have close to me, no matter what the consequences are. I know that as little contact as we ever have you will fuck me up, but at times I’ve felt like it’s worth it. Maybe I just need a chance to show myself that you’re not as destructive as everyone else thought you were.

    I feel as if everything that I’ve felt for you is full of ‘what ifs’ and our clear uncertainty. My constant take backs and what is and isn’t with both of us. Despite everything I’ve said towards you, one thing stayed constant, and that thing was always you. Now I know that I tend to let my feelings get the best of me at times, or for the most part I guess, but what I feel for you is nothing healthy but definitely worth the trip.

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